But forget all that — it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. Isaiah 43:18
Have you ever thought about what’s in the luggage that makes the rounds at the baggage claim area in the airport?
Strange question, we know.
But as you are waiting for your own bags to arrive, do you ever think to yourself or say to each other:
Allow us to further ask what may seem even a bit more strange or even silly: If your psychological baggage was traveling on that same conveyor belt at the airport, what kind of shape would it be in?
How would it look? Scuffed up? Tightly locked? Nondescript?
We ask such the question because your answer reveals a bit about how you consider your past. It provides a quick glimpse into your feelings about your personal history.
Simplicity is making the journey of this life with just baggage enough. –Charles Dudley Warner
And those feelings are what we psychologists are getting at when we talk about your proverbial “baggage.”
History is what has happened in our lives. Baggage is how we feel about it.
Your psychological perspective on your past determines, to a great extent, your personal health and vitality – not to mention how you interact with each other.
By the way, you need not suffer a traumatic accident or something dreadful to have baggage. We all have baggage. Even the most well adjusted and healthiest people have baggage.
No one is exempt.
You may have childhood angst over parental divorce, conflicts with friends and family or remorse over missteps and lost opportunities. Everyone has a history and an emotional response to it.
What matters, when it comes to being a healthy, thriving human being in a loving relationship, is whether or not you have explored or even unpacked your baggage together.
Reflect and Respond
What piece of emotional baggage do you most need to explore together in your marriage?
Go ahead, tell us in the comments.
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How would you recommend we “lighten our load” together in marriage when part of our ‘baggage’ is often that we find our partner’s emotional responses to events–or their ways of communicating those responses and emotions–threatening? This is a tough one. And it makes the load heavier, and carried alone. Suggestions?