Let the party last all night!
Stand guard over our celebration.
Psalm 5:11
We got married in Chicago on June 30, 1984.
Since then we’ve done our best to celebrate this important anniversary in a variety of ways, sometimes with others but mostly on our own.
But no matter where we are or what we’re doing, the celebration seems to eventually center around food–what can we say, we like to eat!
A few years ago we marked this milestone, as many couples do, with a fancy meal – just the two of us. But this was like no meal we had ever experienced.
We arrived at the Herbfarm in the foothills of the Cascade Mountains (outside of Seattle) at 6:00p and the meal did not end until well after 11:00p.
No entertainment, no interludes, just five leisurely hours of a nine course meal.
Occasionally we’d take a walk around the gardens in between courses, but most of our time was spent talking about anything and everything that came to mind.
Talk about having time to let your souls catch up! The luxury of time gave us the opportunity to reminisce about the road we’ve traveled, talk about the feelings we experienced but hadn’t expressed, and dream new dreams together.
With our two boys safe at home with a babysitter, we relished the slow pace of the evening. We basked in the time we had with no agenda other than to be together.
Granted, this is not the kind of meal we’d want all the time. It was highly unusual, to say the least. But it underscored for us the value “slow food” brings to our relationship.
A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity.
The order varied for any given year.
–Paul Sweeney
Truth is, a slow approach to food strengthens any relationship. There is something in the nature of eating together that forms a bond between people.
As Carl Honoré points out in his book, In Praise of Slowness, “It is no accident that the word ‘companion’ is derived from the Latin words meaning ‘with bread.’”
Meals become meaningful when we share them with our spouse. Dining together relaxes our spirits and makes us more loving.
It’s what caused famed playwright Oscar Wilde to say, “After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.”
Whether it’s your anniversary this week or not, every marriage can benefit from punctuating our high-speed lives with a shared meal that slows us down and draws us close.
Reflect and Respond
What’s your most memorable wedding anniversary
celebration and why?
Go ahead, tell us in the comments.
Related Resource
The first steps to improving this single most important factor in any marriage or love relationship are to identify your fear factors and determine your personal communication styles, and then learn how the two of you can best interact.
Bundle includes one softcover Love Talk book, one Workbook for Women, one Workbook for Men, a One Year Love Talk Devotional, and one Love Talk Starters.
Thirty (30) is the scripture numerics number for “The Blood of Christ/ Dedication/ Consecration.” And, it is evident from your fruitfulness that your marriage is covered by the blood of Jesus, and that it is ordained for consecrated, dedicated service to God and to his kingdom. Congratulations !!! May the Lord keep you covered together and keep you fruitful together, until death do you part. Amen.
Wow! What an insightful biblical comment, Joseph. Thanks so much for your VERY kind words.
Wow 30yrs congratulations Jim & I will be married 6yrs this November. My husband gets up at 5am Monday – Friday & we have coffee, he gets dressed at 6am every morning. After 6yrs his routines are so consistent I can set my watch by him. As a child I remember my father sitting alone in the morning having his coffee & getting ready for his day & I always thought that was sad so as tired as I may be I’m up at 5am. We live in a 3bdrm ranch house & I took the master bedroom & turned it into a dining room. My husband is a blue collar worker ‘Utility Maintenance’ for Roswell Park Cancer Institute in Buffalo. His work by my standards is hard so I want him to have a relaxing restaurant style atmosphere to eat dinner which he can eat in less than 15min so that’s something I’m still working on. Being Italian eating is very important to me its the time of day to share our respective day. DON’T EAT IN FRONT OF THE TV sorry for the all caps but we’ve been doing just that as our dining room is out of service (red walls blue tarp on window = purple haze) due to new windows coming soon. I’ve noticed a significant change since we can’t use the dining room & I don’t like it. Looking forward to our new windows & dinner conversation. I don’t ever want to be one of those couples sitting in a restaurant for dinner & not talking at all how sad would that be. In 30yrs I’ll be 85 30th anniversary well we’ll see God willing, he’ll probably still be getting up at 5am we’ll do coffee
Linda, we love the picture you paint of your tradition. SO cool that you do that. Hope your windows arrive soon!
Thank you for sharing. This very important message. I share your writings with my clients. I’m trying to get ahold of the Stronger Profile people I need to know how to register for a group of women in a Christian Recovery Center. I need the phone number. Thank you so much. I love teaching the Stronger material. It has been helpful in my own life.
Marilyn: Love hering this. And we’d love to help you with the Stronger resources. Send in the request here: https://www.lesandleslie.com/contact/
That way it will get to right person to help you. And thanks for your kind words.
You are to be greatly congratulated. I wish that you might also have had some of my experiences, but then I have found happiness in spite of all the bumps in the road that have yielded both growth & understanding. Count your many blessings. I count becoming acquainted with your (both) & Neil Warren’s marital understanding as a blessing that I now, even @83 can share with others. Divorce had an impact on both my parents and my life so I’m some pleased to maybe help others avoid the mental anguish associated.
In His love,
Lon Grinetr.
Lon: Thanks so much for your kind words.
Sharing a meal – at a table – (I say this because Jesus did not share the last supper scattered throughout the house in front of various TVs) is what families use to do when family had meaning. Sharing a meal with our spouse should be as you describe, a time to reconnect, not a quick refueling so we can get to other non-union activities.
Marriage is a long and slow learning and digesting process. We learn more and more about our spouses over time spent together – even after 30 years. As we “digest” this knowledge, we become more and more ‘full’ and in doing so, more satisfied.
It is wonderful that the metaphor ends here, because as the meal fills us we desire to stop and have no more. The more full our marriage makes us, the more hungry we are for more of the love shared and getting full never happens.
Wayne: Love your insights and metaphor! Thanks so much.
Today is our 31st anniversary, and with our busy schedules we are only able to squeeze in one activity….meeting for dinner between commitments! Last year we went to Hawaii, but I think our favorite anniversary celebration was for our 20th, when we dropped our 3 kids off at week long summer camp and took off in a shiny red convertible for a week! Best part was that we didn’t know where we were going or where we would stay at night. No reservations and no schedule! It was great. We started in Austin, TX and ended up in Santa Fe, NM before we figured we’d better start back to pick up the kids! I remember very long drives and equally long conversations of where we’d been and where we were going…..literally at that point!!
My husband and I teach the premarital classes and manage the marriage mentor program at our church with your materials and our marriage continues to reap those same benefits we provide to other couples. Thank you for your ministry.
Rita: Awesome! A shiny red vet for a week with no schedule. Love it! And we are so glad you find our resource helpful in ministering to other couples. We’d love to have you weigh in on our upcoming revision of Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts. We’ve got some cool things coming out we think you’ll really like.
I’d love to give some input for your revision of SYMBIS. What do I need to do to get on the advisory committee?
Our most memorable Anniversary celebration is probably our 50th with all of our family and a bunch of our siblings.All of our family in one place is rare as they are scattered about( NC, Wis, and Ont.) We have 14 living siblings between us. They were not all able to make it to the celebration but we had a good time with those that did..I don’t remember what the meal was but you can be assured that it was good!
We were married in Charing Cross, Ont. on June 28, 1958.
Blessings
Lyle Little
Wow! Love hearing this, Lyle.
June 30th is our anniversary, too! Thanks for being such an inspiring couple.
Hey, how cool, Bridgette. Happy anniversary this coming week.
We have only been married for a little over 6 years, but even before we had kids (we have 1 and 4 year old boys), we always talked about how important it was for us to have date nights, and to have “us” time. Thankfully, we are fortunate enough to live close to lots of FREE babysitting, with both of our parents less than a half hour drive from us, so that helps, but that’s the one piece of marital advice I always give people: never stop having date nights! When my youngest was a newborn, we even had our oldest son watched overnight and kept him home with us and did fondue and movie night at home. We blew up the air mattress and sat in the living room. I still had to deal with the baby, but once he was in bed, we had some time to ourselves. It doesn’t have to be an extravagant 9 course meal, as long as you take time to focus on each other, and not all the other distractions in your life. We try to do something special for each of our anniversaries, too. Sometimes it’s a trip, sometimes it’s just a date night. We have been to Las Vegas, NV, Leavenworth, WA, and Canada, but we’ve also just done a dinner out (like when I was 8 1/2 months pregnant with my youngest). My husband is my best friend, and I just enjoy spending time with him, and I hope that never changes!
Erica: Count your blessing for free babysitting! 🙂 And way to go on the dat night routine! Sounds like you two have a great marriage. All our best.
As a fellow alumni of Olivet, we too just celebrated our 34th(June14flag day). We have also found a good meal in a quiet restaurant(Daniels on Lake Union) our best place to go over the many places and opportunities God has given us. From living in the Midwest to the south to the northwest, from being told we could have no children to a blessed surprise of a daughter to an empty nest now(kind of since she moved back and now lives upstairs for a short while). Places, experiences God has allowed us to go thru but has been there with us and that has made it all the sweeter. My wife too is my best friend and many times we have had to forgive each other but that it what makes this thing of marriage great. keep reminding all couples that it is not an easy road in marriage but the best.
Hey, Kevin, how cool to hear from someone connected to “Our Olivet.” And it sound like you live in Seattle if your celebrating at Daniels on Lake Union. Awesome!
Congrats on your anniversary! My husband and I just celebrated our 6th year anniversary. I think our most memorable anniversary was last year. About 5 years ago my husband and I were attending a Christian college when in our senior year we got called away to be youth pastors in California. Anyway we tried hard to finish courses online but being pastors newly married and then finding out we were pregnant got a little distracting. So this last year we finished our degrees and were able to graduate finally. this all happened around our anniversary. It’s funny how life changes so fast.
Congratulations to you two, Cori. Getting your degrees will be one of the best gifts you ever give yourselves. Way to go!
Special congratulations on your 30th – we will celebrate our 29th in November 2014, and 30th in 2015. It is a huge achievement given that almost everyone we have known while raising our children divorced somewhere between their children’s middle school and college years. A few have remarried. It is amazing to me why so many missed what the core of their marriage needed to have to survive. We were fortunate to understand the commitment and to try to adjust to expectations that aren’t always what we anticipated, but that we could still overcome and accept. I love receiving your emails as everything in them represents how to make those special relationships better for everyday.
Thanks, Lucy. You’re right on our heals.
Congratulations and Happy Anniversary! We always enjoy your Blogs, books and seminars. You put a smile on our faces, as we look at each other or share insights gained from you. One favorite video, as an example, was Les’s graduation keynote address at Olivet last year.
We love to share “what’s on our hearts” over a meal, or on one of our regular date nights – sushi in the hot tub.
Anniversaries are wonderful opportunities to share our love, with the motto – “Make it Memorable!”
With love,
Ray & Gay
Hey, Ray and Gay, so glad you enjoyed the ONU commencement address. That was fun. And thanks for sharing.
We celebrated our 30th ten years ago with our entire family. We had planned to go on a cruise, but our oldest daughter had kicked cancer so we stayed home. She was thrilled to plan and execute most of the festivities for that special day. Her creativity still amazes me! Still cancer-free, Marie went to be with the Lord 3 years later, so we cherish those memories.
How touching. Thanks for sharing this, Sherry & Doug.
Congrats and God Bless on your 30th wedding anniversary! May you both enjoy many more years together as a team serving our Lord and truly loving one another.
Charlie and I are celebrating 50 years as a married couple in July. We have many wonderful memories of Anniversary celebrations but this one is special because my parents did not live to celebrate their 50th. Nine of our children and grandchildren will accompany us on a cruise to Alaska! We absolutely love shared experiences with them and feel so blessed!
50 years!! Woohoo! Have a great cruise, Linda.
We married at 17 and we just celebrated our 30th anniversary at a beach celebration by getting our commitment renewed by our priest. Back in the days, we were so brike, we couldnt even pay attention. But the lord has given us more than we deserved. We did a hawwaian style ceremony, we sent for fresh leis from hawaii for our gest. We had an ukulele player ar thr beach. Then we had a beautiful reception at aclub house surrounded with friends and family. We party into late at night. It was memorable!
Mike, that’s terrific. Sounds like a blast.
First off Happy Anniversary and congratulations to you both on such a great milestone. This was such a great reminder that we need to slow down our lives and just be with each other. I so wish I could find someplace in Denver that would host a five hour meal! I could not think of a better way to spend five hours than enjoying two of my favorite things, my amazing wife and food!
Andy, thanks so much. Hope you can eventually find your version of the slow food in Denver.
My husband and I just celebrated our first anniversary! We went away overnight to a little country inn. It was fancier than we expected, with a restaurant on-site. We were seated for dinner and my meat-and-potatos country-boy hubby saw the tiny portions other diners were getting, and then the exorbitant prices and was not very comfortable. So we had a tiny cocktail and then went to a nearby Wendy’s for food more to our liking and budget. Eating hamburgers and fries in our room was so fun!
I woke up early, as usual, and let him sleep in while I drank coffee and wrote about our first year out on our little balcony, with squirrels and birds for company. God has blessed us so richly!
One thing that stands out in my mind about the day we left for our trip is when my 7-year-old stepson asked me “What is an anniversary?” I told him it is a chance for a married couple to celebrate their love and to be together alone for a bit. His grandpa (with whom we live, and who is recovering from a paralyzing illness last fall) said, “That is for young people! Older folks don’t bother with that.” I immediately took the opportunity to teach my stepson and gently scold my father-in-law by countering with “People who love each other want to celebrate and do those things no matter what their age is.”
Love the Wendy’s move, Jenn. That’s funny!
First of all, congrats on the 30 years.
Second….our favorite was just this past May. For our five year we booked the Chef’s table at a very nice restaurant. It was like eating inside a Food Network TV show sitting in the kitchen. The food was out of this world good and talking with the Chef as he explained what he made for us and why was great. We can’t wait to go back for another anniversary.
Sounds awesome, Eric. We’d like to eat there tonight!
My husband and I have only celebrated one anniversary so far. We got married June 30, 2012. Our first anniversary certainly was memorable! We spent it in the hospital where my husband was being assessed as to whether he was a candidate for brain surgery to try to treat his epilepsy. He had surgery in August 2013, although we’re still not sure of the long-term outcome. The stay in the hospital wasn’t the vision we had for our first anniversary celebration, but it was a gift simply to be together to reflect on all we’d weathered in just a year’s time. We still don’t know how we’ll spend anniversary two, but we’re hoping it won’t be in a hospital. I’m excited to see we share an anniversary date with two people who have been so candid, wise, and insightful about the joys and challenges of this blessing called marriage.
Woah! That IS a memorable anniversary experience, Thea. We’ll say a prayer for you two.
My wife and I just celebrated 39 years, but our 25th anniversary stands out as very memorable. We were married on June 14, 1975. In June of 2000 we were bringing to a close a 15 + year ministry. We spent the last two weeks vacationing in Washington State (Bellingham) and planning to move to another state to begin a new ministry in July. With all the activity going on our silver wedding anniversary was put aside. We did exchange gifts with each other one night to commemorate the occasion, but the celebration was far less than what it should have been. I secretly determined to give my wife a wedding gift on the 14th of each month for the next year. It was great fun to see it unfold and to give gifts to her. By the fourth or fifth month, she finally began to catch on and see the pattern, but by the next month she had forgotten about it. So it was a surprise all over again when I would present her with the next gift. It was a great way to celebrate 25 years.
Evan, that is such a creative celebration. Love hearing that – except for the fact that you’re making the rest of us look a little shabby. 🙂
Our most memorable anniversary was year 2 (I think)…my husband of now 17y took me on a blind date. I was blindfolded when we left the house until we arrived at The Butcher Shop (in Memphis) then I was blindfolded when we left the restaurant until we arrived at the carriage ride he prepared. During the carriage ride he presented me with an antique diamond watch that was engraved with the inscription “timeless love” on the back. It was a beautiful nite! I’ll always remember that & I’m reminded every time I look at the watch.
I think my most memorable one was our first, at a cabin in the mountains outside Phoenix, Az. Sitting on a rock by a small lake, Jay presented me with a beautiful ruby ring, which was a great surprise. It was also the first ring he actually “bought” for me. My wedding ring was a family heirloom. The post above reminded me of getting out of a hospital on our 6th anniversary, but for a happier reason, the birth of our second child the day before. I think we were able to go out to dinner, but it is a bit of a blur.
Our 1st anniversary was very memorable because loved ones banned together to provide us a mini-honeymoon at home since we did not have one following our marriage ceremony.