“You’re wife was bragging on you last week,” Marissa told me (Les) in the church foyer.
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
“We were having our usual Monday morning coffee together with a few other moms after we dropped off our kids at school,” Marissa continued, “and Leslie told all of us how you masterfully got your little boy to quit fussing about what he was wearing to school.”
“Oh, right! Jackson was really headstrong about wearing the same hooded sweatshirt every day for some reason, and Leslie was at her wits end.”
“Whatever you did,” Marissa said, “it impressed your wife. She was going on and on about you being a great dad. Way to go!”
Have you ever heard a secondhand compliment from your spouse like this? If so, you know just how much it can do for your spirit – and for your marriage. Knowing that your spouse is saying good things about you, when you’re not around, is almost as important as hearing these good things directly. In fact, in some ways, it’s even more impactful.
Why? At least two reasons:
- Because it’s said without any assurance that you will ever even hear it.
- You know it’s genuine and heart-felt.
In media circles, it’s called “positive press”, and it typically requires the work of a top-notch publicity agent. Public figures pay significant sums to obtain such services, because good press always benefits a person’s public image. But in the same way, “good press” can positively impact your spouse’s personal image, too.
Few things can boost a person’s self-esteem more than hearing that their partner has been putting them in a positive light to others. And when two people are doing that for each other, they reap a double dose of love.
So, consider making it your mission this week to spread some good press about your partner – whether he or she hears about it or not.
Related Resources
The first steps to improving this single most important factor in any marriage or love relationship are to identify your fear factors and determine your personal communication styles, and then learn how the two of you can best interact. In this no-nonsense book, “psychobabble” is translated into easy-to-understand language that clearly teaches you what you need to do – and not do – for speaking each other’s language like you never have before.
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So many billboard ideas….
My wife is better than sliced bread.
Marry well, or you’ll feel like your living in… (Not Heaven)
I know God loves me when I see my wife’s smile.
Eric: Thanks so much for sharing. And let us know when you post that billboard. 🙂
Have you seen this woman? Beautiful beyond compare inside & out who somehow knows how to lay down her life to lift mine up on an ongoing basis! WOW!!
“Wow” is right! Thanks, Clif.
My husband has a gift for bringing out the best in others. We both work in the prison ministry and he even does his magic with the inmates. He helps them to see that they each have special qualities and that is what God wants them to focus on, not hurting others. He makes them feel special. One can see that the way a man feels about himself shows, by the way he treats others. After a while, their thinking about themselves starts to change. They have fewer write-ups, and take more classes and are more agreeable to be around. Does it get any better then that?
Mary: What a beautiful testimony. Thanks so much.
My wife Roses is like a Neon Light
She’s Flashy A Turn On and she Lights up my Life!
Nice, Daniel. Very nice.
My husband and I just returned from short a term mission trip to Haiti. He has never been on a trip like that before-but I have. We went to share biblical truths of marriage with Haitian Pastors and church leaders. My husband was amazing. He jumped in, helping wherever the need arose, and did it without any complaining or murmuring. I was so proud and impressed with him.
Kathy: How cool! Thanks for sharing this.
Olakunlemi…my best friend and husband…1 in a billion men who listens.
Flora: So sweet. I bet your husband feels the same about you.
When she forgives me, she doesn’t still try to make me feel guilty.
Jim: What a grace gift you have! A true gift indeed!
I have read your book on second marriages and my question is dealing with more than two marriages in a dating relationship. Do you have any resources for this. Ken
Ken: we have a book called Real Relationships that might be what you’re looking for. It includes dating but the general messages is this: Your relationship can only be as healthy as you are. It explore family of origin issues, sexauality, friendship and relating to God without feeling phony. My be worth a look for you.