We’ve got a little secret that we haven’t told anyone until now. For the past six months or so we’ve been counting our blessing. Almost every day we tell each other about something we are grateful for. It could be anything: our son being included on a social event, having our health, the autumn leaves, or even a warm bowl of oatmeal. It started as a test of some research we came upon for an upcoming book we’ve been writing. And we are now hooked on gratitude.
Research psychologists have tended to look down their nose at gratitude as little more than a question of having good manners and remembering to say thank you. But that’s changing. New gratitude experiments by social scientists seem to be popping up across university campuses.
Consider one of the most revealing experiments to date. Robert Emmons, a professor of psychology at the University of California took three groups of volunteers and randomly assigned them to focus on one of three things each week: hassles, things for which they were grateful, and ordinary life events.
The first group concentrated on everything that went wrong or that irritated them. The second group honed in on situations they felt enhanced their lives, such as, “My husband is so kind and caring—I’m lucky to have him.” The third group recalled recent everyday events, such as, “I went shoe shopping.”
The results: The people who focused on gratitude were happier by far. They saw their lives in favorable terms. They reported positive feelings, fewer negative complaints, and they even reported experiencing better health (fewer headaches and colds). They also offered more grace to others and did more loving things. Those who were grateful quite simply enjoyed a higher quality of life and a deeper connection with their spouse.
Dr. Emmons was surprised. He found that this is not just something that makes people happy, like positive-thinking. A feeling of gratitude really gets people to do something, to become more pro-social, more compassionate. Such was not the case in either of the other two groups.
The bottom line is that our lives are never more full than when we are conscious of our blessings. And our marriage is never more loving than when we are both thankful. So while this week is dedicated to reminding all of us to be more grateful, why not make it a permanent habit? Why not take sixty seconds together at the end of your day to mention one thing that makes each of you thankful? Try it for a week and, like us, we’re pretty sure you’ll be hooked on gratitude, too.
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I have been participating in 30 days of gratitude on Facebook for the month of November where each day my friends and I post something we are thankful for. Not only has it made me focus more on the blessings in my life but I also get to read about all the things my friends are grateful for as well. I have also found that by focusing on the positive I am able to better weather the storms and not get overwhelmed. God bless you for your ministry and thanks for sharing your gratitude journey with us.
That’s fantastic, Dawn. And we completely agree … the true benefit of gratitude come when times are tough. It’s a secret far too few of us ever discover. Thanks for sharing.
Excellent idea and devotional. Being raised in a very positive Godly home, my dad would always say, “if you can’t say anything good, don’t say anything at all.” His favorite scripture was Phil. 4:8 “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
I love the idea about every day focusing in something to be thankful for with my spouse. Thank you! 🙂
Cindy, it wounds like you were blessed by having a great dad. I (Les) was, too. And believe it or not, my dad quoted this same verse (Phil 4:8) often. Your note makes me especially grateful for a good heritage. Have a great Thanksgiving!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHv6vTKD6lg . Just used this video, “The Science of Happiness” from Soul Pancake in a Bible study which supports the research of this devotional topic. A little language to be aware of.
Kent: We love this video. Thanks so much for sharing it. Would love to see the same thing one video when it’s particularly directed toward couples.
We have family/friends we adopted, they keep a blessing book daily, then in Nov/Dec. They review their blessings…Nina the mom started this years ago for her daughter who has SMA if you want more info please contact me
Genius idea, Guinivere! A Blessing Book. Love it!
I am curious as to the results of the other two subject groups.
Stacy, good question. According to Dr. Emmons, the other two groups showed little to no difference in their emotional satisfaction or happiness. Only the highly grateful group. Thanks for your question.