But no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. James 3:8
Shortly after midnight on Saturday, April 26, 1986, routine maintenance was in progress at the Chernobyl nuclear power plant in the north east corner of the Ukraine when an uncontrolled power surge raced through reactor No. 4, producing steam and hydrogen, which culminated in a massive explosion.
A mile-high nuclear cloud hovered for ten days, releasing its nuclear rain.
In the summer of 1993 I (Les) witnessed firsthand the devastation this accident brought to this region and its people and it’s stayed with me to this day.
On a humanitarian assignment for World Vision International, I was sent to Chernobyl to help those who had not been amenable to physical healing. I walked around an abused landscape that will require many thousands of years of healing.
I talked with suffering children.
I listened to their desperate parents.
I met with courageous doctors, and I saw what life was like in Chernobyl’s “Dead Zone.”
Things will never be simple and uncomplicated again for two million residents of Belarus.
All parts of the human body get tired eventually – except the tongue. –Konrad Adenauer
Reflecting upon my experience in Chernobyl’s contaminated region, I have come to a fresh realization: as soil and air are poisoned by radiation, so the human heart and mind are poisoned by critical comments. “The human tongue is full of death-bringing poison,” as James 3:8 says.
Verbal toxicity, however, is often dispensed in subtle forms.
We sometimes camouflage our criticism, for example, in humor. People wriggle out of cruel statements by saying “I was only joking.”
Or we shoot a poisonous dart with “helpful” advice that is actually meant as an artful put down.
Sometimes we withhold our attention to express our disapproval. As a Yiddish proverb says, “If you’re out to beat a dog, you’re sure to find a stick.”
Regardless of its form, criticism poisons the human spirit much like a nuclear disaster poisons a landscape.
Reflect and Respond
How would you rate your personal “criticism quotient” in your marriage on a 1-10 scale and why?
Go ahead, tell us in the comments.
Related Resource
The Good Fight: learn the practical research-proven techniques that will show you how to turn every conflict to your advantage.
8 learned young from my mom & sister very difficult to unlearn sarcasm, swearing & anger
I remember a client once telling me that all she does is tell her husband the truth. The wife sited “Sharing the truth in love.” But, what she was sharing was not truth, it was mere facts. I asked her to tell me the difference and she said that truth are facts “that mattered.” From there she was able to see that her “truth” actually did not matter and recovery began to occur.
I think early and continual abuse from my father made me a very mistrust in individual that had created a person who can be reactive at times with my husband and Teen son. I’m slowly learn to be still and say less but I have moments where the anger boils up when I feel hurt by their words and lash out..thankful for God’s grace and realization I can grow and trust again.
I try to keep my verbal poison quota as close to zero as humanly possible. I vowed to an amazingly compassionate GOD to honor this man HE placed in the position as priest of our household. I want our young adult children to know what to desire in and provide for their future spouses. My prayer is that my children do NOT participate in abusive relationships.