“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41-42
There is a great line in Moby Dick. The sailors are rowing furiously while the whale boat is racing frantically to catch the great whale. But there is one person in the boat who is not doing anything.
He is just sitting there, quiet and still. It’s the harpooner, ready to take aim and throw his deadly dart.
And Melville writes: “To ensure the greatest efficiency in the dark, the harpoonists of this world must start to their feet out of idleness and not out of toil.”
Our culture has a problem with idle harpoonists who appear “nonproductive.” We are more impressed with the dazzling display of the whirring hamster wheel. The busier the better.
Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans. –John Lennon
So, many of us who might be excellent harpoonists get caught up in a relentless pace and are never ready to use our gifts when needed most.
We overcommit because we fear boredom. Running in high gear keeps us from being contemplative. And it keeps us from connecting. It keeps us from thoughts and feelings we want to avoid. Being busy gives us license to slip out early or be absent altogether.
But the greatest sin of business is how it disrupts our relationship with each other and with God.
Eugene Peterson has said, “Busyness is the enemy of spirituality. It is essentially laziness. It is doing the easy thing instead of the hard thing. It is filling our time with our own actions instead of paying attention to God’s actions.”
Few things corrode our relationships more than busyness. And the only way to combat it is to slow down and run the risk of looking like we aren’t doing anything.
Reflect and Respond
What’s one practical thing you can do this week, in specific terms, to protect your marriage from busyness?
Go ahead, tell us in the comments.
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I could ducktape my husband to a chair. I get “oh by the way I have to go into work at 4am, oh I have to work this weekend, oh I’m working late” Saturday, Sunday phone calls from the boss “I won’t be too long” I’m a widow with a living husband. When he’s home he’s on his phone looking up parts for his daughters car & has to go to his father’s house to fix his tiller (2.5hr ride $50.00 – $100.00 visit) I should buy a maids uniform. I guess I shouldn’t complain I get free room & board. This isn’t a marriage it’s a job
My husband has to go to bed early due to 4 a.m. work schedule. One thing I have started doing this week is going to bed when he does and cuddle with him until he falls asleep. (One of his love languages is physical touch so this is filling his love tank.) Once he falls asleep if I am still wide awake then I quietly get out of bed for a bit. He has commented how much he likes this. I always have things I could be doing, but I chose to take the time to hit pause and focus on my husband.
“Few things corrode our relationships more than busyness. And the only way to combat it is to slow down and run the risk of looking like we aren’t doing anything.”
I concur with this statement. I need to actively protect some time & space for margin in my life, so there is space for the inevitable bumps I and others experience along the road.
Dedicating a tithe of time to our Lord is also appropriate: God can do more with 90% than I can with 100!
Disconnect from everything – phones, TV, etc. and enjoy each other without distractions. We usually do this once a week.
Go for a walk together
I think that we women, wear the badge of “Multi-tasker Extraordinaire” as a badge of honor, when as you say, it is probably keeping us from being Mary’s. Thanks for that great reminder. I love your weekly posts and share them often.