Don’t lie to each other, for you have stripped off your old sinful nature and all its wicked deeds. Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him. Colossians 3:9-10
Jennifer is married to a penny-pinching spouse who likes an accounting of their finances.
Whenever Jennifer comes home from nearly any kind of shopping, her husband asks how much things cost.
“You went to that gourmet grocery? How much were these tomatoes?” he’ll prod.
“I think they were on sale,” Jennifer replies—while craftily avoiding an answer. “Aren’t they gorgeous?”
Knowing his wife’s predilection to hide the truth in moments like these, he quickly combs through the grocery bags to find the receipt.
“You paid almost ten dollars for a pound of tomatoes!” he exclaims.
And while it might be the price that is disconcerting, it’s the fact that Jennifer didn’t shoot straight with him on how much she spent that really irritates him.
You can like somebody, you could even love somebody, but you have to work at trusting somebody and you’ve got to earn that trust. –Tony Orlando
It’s these little deceptions that diminish his trust in her.
The same is true in every marriage. And it involves far more than just money.
If we want our partner’s trust, we’ve got to shoot straight. Especially when we are at fault.
“One of the hardest things in this world is to admit you are wrong,” said Benjamin Disraeli. “And nothing is more helpful in resolving a situation than its frank admission.”
So true.
Don’t be afraid of fessing up to your foibles. While you think it will drive your spouse away, it will actually bring him or her closer to you because you’re becoming more trustworthy.
Reflect and Respond
In what area can you be more a straight-shooter with your spouse? In other words, where can you be more honest to engender more trust?
Go ahead, tell us in the comments.
Related Resource
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i believe in complete honesty. I also see that this poor lady has to endure a lot of scrutiny over an everyday purchase. This type of interaction could certainty contribute to a woman not wanting to be totally open with her husband. He does not seem safe. That does not justify dishonesty. I think she needs to confront his disapproval.
Joy, you are basically on the same page as Meg (below) and we are too. See our comment to her. Thanks for your insight. You are right on the money about confronting his tact with her – it should have been part of a loving conversation between the new husband and wife.
Each day I would like to be more accountable with my time. It appears some days I am prone to unproductive and not so glorious “rabbit trails”.
Marriage the ultimate partnership must be free of deceit. Marriage partners should be compassionate, trustworthy, loyal, and DEDICATED to the mutual benefit of the partnership. Leave room for love & forgiveness which covers a multitude of sins. Note perpetual deceit while dating it saves one from heartache in marriage which has plenty anyway
I have issue with your confrontation of her dishonesty, yet no comment on the husband’s misuse of power in the relationship. She’s beaten down and this is not healthy on any level.
Meg: This is a great observation. Reviewing the devotion we can totally see your perspective on it and we agree. Not that it would change dramatically, but we mistakenly left out a paragraph from this Devotion describing the young couple’s tight financial budget and the new husband’s anxiety over making ends meet. Still doesn’t justify misuse of power but there is a fuller context. We hear what you’re saying and based on what we put out in this Devotion your point is not only valid but we completely agree. Thanks for speaking up.
Okay – I just read what Meg wrote. I was feeling indignant too! This guy (as portrayed in the devotional) is way too controlling! And if I were married to him, I would respond the same way his wife did, simply because I wouldn’t like having my every purchase scrutinized… feeling like I had to “justify” every little purchase I made. This hit a bit too close to home. My husband has reacted this way in the past, and it was very upsetting to feel like I always had to explain every little decision… and even worse when the explanation I gave wasn’t “acceptable” to him! Thankfully, things are a lot better now… we are more in an equal partnership now that the kids are raised and it’s just the two of us. Also money isn’t as tight, and that helps. I still have a tendency to be evasive, and wait for the right timing to “come clean” when I’ve made a purchase I think he’ll deem unnecessary. It’s an area that needs work. We’re making progress though.
Thanks for explaining the rest of the story… and for affirming what Meg commented on. On another note, I think it’s interesting that the people who’ve responded here are all women.