Wisdom, like an inheritance, is a good thing. Ecclesiastes 7:11
Years ago we began using the term “Marriage Mentors” in relationship to a program we developed called Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts.
Through a seminar we launched in Seattle, we were beginning to help hundreds of newlyweds get started on the right foot. But soon we began to wonder whether the information we were teaching was actually sticking.
We began to wonder how we could build in some accountability for these couples that went through our program, to be sure they were actually putting the information into practice.
There were too many newlyweds for us to follow up on personally, so we began recruiting older, more experienced couples, to meet with these newlyweds. Without much training at first, we asked these mentors to simply check in with their assigned couple every so often to see how things were going. And it didn’t take us long to realize that something exciting was happening because of this fledgling notion.
We were beginning to hear remarkable stories convincing us that the time-honored tool of mentoring is more than ready to be applied to all kinds of marriages.
People are not very good at taking orders but they are great at imitating. –Wayman Mitchell
We have a dream that one day a massive network of a million marriage mentors will undergird marriages across North America and around the world. Serving as a relational safety net, these mentors will lift up and support couples at crucial crossroads — those just starting out, about to have a baby, in crisis, blending a family, raising teenagers, and so on. Marriage mentoring applies to every stage and phase of married life.
And couples are crying out for this kind of relationship. In a recent survey, 62 percent of respondents said they’d like to find a mentor couple in their church and 92 percent said they would especially like to have a mentor to help them through tough times.
So what about the two of you? Could you benefit from finding a marriage mentor couple who would walk along side you? Or maybe you’re in a place to mentor another couple? Either way, consider the possibility of getting involved in marriage mentoring.
Reflect and Respond
Are you in a place to become trained as Marriage Mentors?
Go ahead, tell us in the comments.
Related Resource
Join a growing movement of couples making a difference and experiencing a boomerang of blessing in their own marriage – Become a Marriage Mentor Couple! You can now train online in our new Marriage Mentoring Academy. You can train on the go – at the beach or on the bus. Learn the 12 essential skills you need to be a successful Marriage Mentor couple. Join us today!
Marriage mentoring would have been a welcomed tool especially at the beginning of our marriage when the framework of your marriage sets the direction for years to come and accountability is needed for change. I still find after a couple of decades of marriage, my husband and I really don’t know/speak each others love language. I believe God has so much more planned for a Godly marriage, and yet we remain distracted with the rat-race and trinkets of distraction. Making a commitment to pursue a loving desire to love (verb) each other would put us in a position to come along side other starting out couples. Our witness as Christians would be so much brighter.
My husband and I were wondering can we have a mentor as well as be mentors?
Hilda is my fiance’. We are getting married 2/14/2015 because GOD has directed our relationship. In her Nazarene church are many Mexicans and in their culture it is not uncommon and is acceptable by them for a man and woman to live together and have children without being married.
I will be moving my membership from my Nazarene congregation to hers. In the direction God has led us, He has spoken to me about using our new marriage as an example for them. Your book has been on my mind as a way of leading and guiding them.
In this process, I would need guidance. My experience as a trainer and mentor would be very useful in the process. I believe that the book should be a requirement for all couples, engaged and married.
We are getting married in the summer and want our marriage to start off on the right course. I would love to know how we can find mentors in my city that are associated with the mentoring program.
My wife and I went through your mentoring training and passed the test…couldn’t get the certificate to print, and we heard nothing more…after a while we did get asked to complete a survey which we did. ..and then. ..you guessed it…we heard nothing more. I’m glad you are doing something I guess just not here in New England.
Hello, I am an adjunct professor at Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia. I also serve as the Subject Matter Expert for a graduate level course on marriage coaching. We use your book, The Complete Guide to Marriage Mentoring, as one of the textbooks. Do you have any videos that you would like for me to consider asking the students to watch? Perhaps you have something on YouTube that they could access for free since they all are buying your book.
Can’t Be A Mentor Just Yet
We Need A Mentor…
We have been married for 35 years and enjoy being with young couples. We have a small group in our home every Tuesday and are currently walking along side these 5 couples studying James. We would defiantly be interested in mentoring!
I don’t think i would make a great mentor, but my marriage could sure use one! 🙂
Hiya!
What a great opportunity. My wife and I would love to become mentors but can’t afford the $59 fee.
Is there another avenue for us to get into the program?
Thanks Les and Leslie for creating the opportunity to share. Over years, we’ve engaged in multiple marriage programs via our church, and continue recommending a mentor program. In the meantime, we’ve discovered http://www.recovering-couples.org/, and participate in global-online, phone, and local meetings. Interestingly, the attendance are all ages and stages of marriage with most being long term. Richard Rohr shares that all…especially Christians, would benefit from participation in 12 Step to gain a true understanding of the gospel. The eye of the needle metaphor. I wonder if mentors can sincerely mentor without the humbling in-sight that we appreciate in our RCA Sponsors. Otherwise, we can easily miss what Jesus meant by healing “the blind”.
Les and Leslie, My husband Mark and I have been married 25 years and we were approached from a member of our church we were apart of 12 years in Nashua NH and asked if we would be willing to do the Marriage Mentor training. We accepted and absolutely loved it we actually went through the 3 courses plus the mentoring. It was amazing even after 25 years of a pretty strong/good marriage with some ups and downs of course…that even going through “Saving your marriage before it starts” the things we learned and laughed and teared up about and how it enhanced our marriage even more by the time we had finished all courses.
With that being said…we have moved from NH to Charlotte NC and attend a local Christian Church and have already gotten plugged in…and through this we have seen a GREAT need for married couples in distress and our church receives a few phone calls a week of Marriages on the brink of divorce and other than recommending a counselor to them. and maybe a willingness to sit and talk with them a couple of times.our staff does not know how to handle these situations and then these couples feel like they are abandoned by their own church and it is not intentional I am sure.
How would my husband and I go about taking some steps to start a Mentoring group…we have been here in Charlotte about 6 months and I already know in my head of about at least 3 or 4 couples I think are seasoned enough in their marriage and may be willing to come on board with this. Some have had some real tough struggles and have over come them and some on second marriages with yours mine and ours kids ect.
I am not usually one o jump right out there to do something like this…but I have a passion for helping people and this has weighed on our hearts lately…and then I read your email and though this I am leaving a comment and I am going to ask if you have some suggestions/advice for us.
Thank-you both for ALL that you do for the Glory of God!!
Laurie and Mark.
Sorry about the type o’s last part should of said.”.and thought…this time I am leaving a comment”
My wife Sheila and I are certified marriage mentors through the Assembly of God churches through a program called NAME. National Association of Marriage Enhancement. We went through 12 weeks of training to be certified, taking a test at the end. We also have to recertify every year to continue. The program was originally founded as Marriage ministries International by Pastor Leo and Molly Godzich of Phoenix Arizona First Assembly. It then became NAME many years later. It has been a blessing to work with hurting marriages as well as couples making it in this life. To walk with couples through the journey has been rewarding for us. I think it is a wonderful resource and applaud you in and will pray for you in your efforts.
We’re trying to find marriage mentors in the Phoenix Az area.