How to Instantly Make Your Marriage Happier

Forget about what’s happened; 
don’t keep going over old history.

Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new.
It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?

There it is! I’m making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands.
Isaiah 43:19

“You signed us up for what?”

“A trapeze class,” Les said.

“As in ‘flying through the air with the greatest of ease’ kind of trapeze?”

“Yes. I found a special they were running with Groupon – it’s like half price or something.” Les was speaking as if he ordered us a couple of ham sandwiches.

“I’m not concerned about the money, I’m concerned about our safety.”

“They start us off in ‘Ground School’ before we do tricks in the air and stuff,” he said with a straight face. “It will be fun.”

“Have you lost your mind?” I blurted out. “I have no desire to join Ringling Brothers.”

Les laughed out loud at my apprehension and began showing me photos on the website. The pictures did little to ease my anxiety – but I eventually agreed to go along (just like Les knew I would).

When we entered the “Aerialdrome” Les said: “See, they have a net under the whole thing so you can’t get hurt if you fall.” I was looking at the trapeze platform that was at least 25 feet in the air when our instructor approached.

“You’ll want to change your clothes and start warming up your muscles,” the instructor told us. “It makes it much easier to hang from the bar by your knees.”

I looked at Les, wide-eyed, as we walked to our respective locker rooms. Les just grinned and bounced his eyebrows at me.

“Children are happy because they don’t have a file in their minds called ‘All the Things That Could Go Wrong.'”
–Marianne Williamson

After being hooked up to the rig around your waist and learning the “take-off” techniques, you’re in the air and learning to kneehang – thirty minutes into the lesson. Wow! And before the class is finished, if you’ve got the courage, you’re flying into the hands of another instructor who catches you from the other trapeze. Wow again!

Sure, you’re attached to a harness that keeps you from falling, and, yes, there’s a humongous bouncy net running the length of the set up, but this was not your “dinner and a movie” date night. This was something out of the ordinary. This was an adventure.

And that’s exactly what research reveals is vital to keeping your love life alive and kicking – experience more adventures. Don’t worry, a high flying trapeze act is not required. All we ask is that you explore how trying new things can impact your relationship. It’s a secret the happiest couples know: New experiences together breed deeper happiness and greater love.

You can probably imagine the conversation over dinner we had following our flying trapeze class together. We were both animated and laughing harder than we had in a good while:

“I didn’t think that guy was going to catch you!”

“I know! I was so nervous, I could barely focus on what I was supposed to do. Did you see his face when I let go of the bar?”

The experience jostled us out of our routine. You know the feeling. You’re excited. Adrenaline is pumping. Your brain is high on dopamine. You feel happy in love. It’s the same thing that happened early in your relationship when you were dating and falling head over heels for each other. New and exciting experiences together reignite those loving feelings and tap into those same “happy places” in your brain. In other words, trying new things makes you happy together. You might say that trying new things is the love drug for married couples.