Many are the plans in a man’s heart,
but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.
Proverbs 19:21
“The traffic on Westlake is crazy,” Leslie told me. “They’re doing some construction as you near Mercer Avenue. So beware.”
I was driving to meet Leslie across town, and she’d just passed through the same streets where I was starting to travel.
“Thanks for the heads up.”
Did this little bit of info matter? Surprisingly, yes! I didn’t get uptight wondering what was happening. Instead, I took a round about way and felt like I’d performed a magic trick.
It’s amazing what a little information can do to help you navigate your day – sometimes literally.
Psychologists call it “cognitive control.”
And it’s a fact: knowing what to expect gives you power. With even a small bit of information about a situation we feel more in control and have better outcomes than those who don’t have the information.
Hope means a confident, alert expectation that God will do what he said he will do.
It is a willingness to let God do it in his way and in his time.
Eugene Peterson
Consider a simple experiment conducted on women entering a supermarket. Each group of women was given a long shopping list on which they were to select the most economical purchase in the store for each item.
One group was told, “While you are carrying out the task, the store may become crowded. So if you feel a little anxious while you’re shopping, that may be why.” That was it. That’s all the added information they received.
The other group of shoppers didn’t get this information. But that little piece of knowledge seemed to make a big difference.
The informed group got more shopping items correct, was more satisfied with the store, and felt the experience was comfortable.
The uninformed group felt stressed, missed items on their list, and didn’t like the experience.
Having information about a situation, this study and many others have shown, frees people from “searching for explanations” and empowers them to give their attention and energy to the task.
This scenario pales in comparison to the knowledge God wants us to have – the information he provides for giving us the upper hand in life.
He says it plainly: “In this world you will have trouble” (John 16:33). You can expect it. Problems rain on all of us. Nobody gets through this life without troubles.
“I have told you this,” he says, “so that in me you may have peace.”
In other words, by knowing what to expect, we have “cognitive control” that brings about direction, focus, strength and contentment. We can find peace in spite of our troubles, knowing that God is giving us direction.
As Paul says in I Corinthians (1:9): “God himself is right alongside to keep you steady and on track until things are all wrapped up by Jesus. God, who got you started in this spiritual adventure, shares with us the life of his Son and our Master Jesus. He will never give up on you. Never forget that.”
Reflect and Respond
When are you most likely to experience a little “cognitive control”
by leaning into God’s direction in your life?
What difference does it make in your marriage?
Go ahead, tell us in the comments.
Related Resource
Offering wisdom and insights for applying biblical truths to our relationships, this book encourages couples to connect and communicate every day. This practical, uplifting guide is perfect for busy couples who long to experience a stronger relationship and better communication.
This was just what I needed to hear this AM. Continue allow God to speak through you to keep couples lifted!!!
Letitia: We are SO glad to hear this. Thanks for letting us know.
I love this! What a beautiful descriptive and so true of what God is doing currently in my own story and in the story of my marriage. Knowing that marriage is meant to have troubles makes all the difference to how I am able to navigate them. It keeps me from sinking in the swampland of depression when distance and conflict rise up between us. It helps me to forge on and does, indeed, bring peace that helps me put in the necessary work it takes to move us further into the place of deeper intimacy on the other side.
Thank you so much for this insightful post and for your ministry.
Esther: You are SO kind. Thank you.
This is really good. In my own life, I have seen how a “little information” has given me some cognitive control. Maps and guides as I call them. They give me wisdom and understanding.
But sometimes these “maps and guides” are not enough. Take irrational fear for example: My 9 year old son is generally speaking, not a fearful person. But he is afraid of the dark.
One of his weekly chores is to wheel the garbage can out to the end of the driveway. On occasion, especially in the winter, the sun has set before he has a chance to take it out. We live away from the city so it gets very dark at night. He and I have had a couple of conversations about his fear of the dark and I am very careful not to put a judgement on his fear. Even though he has no rational reason for this phobia, (no bigfoot sightings or anything like that), no amount if information seems to make a difference. Instead, I choose to validate the reality of his feelings by taking the garbage out with him if it is dark outside. He gets to carry the flashlight and I am with him, (big dad, stronger than bigfoot) and still, he is afraid.
I’m wondering if you have any insights as to how we can overcome what I call for lack of a better term, these “demons” that haunt us? Maybe you can share that in a future post?